How funny it is that every year starts with such high expectations...Then life begins to bleed into those expectations. As this year began I was determined to be more organized and take better care of myself. Well, I have not given up, merely got stuck in some mud. But I think the sun is coming out and I am breaking free of that slush.
I think one of the best ways to stay on track is to voice your goals and evaluate your success. I have scheduled the kids whole week in 30 minute increments. The only road block now is to figure out how to fit everything into my daily scheduled. I wrote down everything I want to do in a week and cut them out to fit into my spreed sheet, yet there are not enough spaces in my day! What a surprise right? I will figure it out. I am going to get it done this week!
Emma is doing so well with her education that I have not been able to give her enough material to fill her hunger of learning. I am amazed at how easily she memorizes and reads. As she explores and understands more, Luke has begun searching for the knowledge she is gaining. He has begun to learn letters and matching them to their sounds. He loves building and figuring out how things work. I have had a lot of fun figuring out ways to tailor learning to his needs. At the same time my love for him has deepened and I enjoy our time together more each day.
Madison is fighting the need to do what her parents say vs the need to do what she wants. With her sweet temperament it is hard to hear her struggle. Maddy loves to see others happy, but is not sure if she should give up the happiness she would get if she did what she wanted. I wish I could tell her that this is why we were sent to Earth. The struggle of doing what our Heavenly Father wants or doing the desires of man. How important it is for her to know at a young age that her Mom loves her even when she makes the wrong choice. Similar to knowing that your Heavenly Father is always there when you are ready. I pray that one day I will be able to help her understand that happiness comes from serving others, not from fulfilling our own desires.
This kind of leads to one of the issues that I have been dealing with in my own happiness. My day is full of doing things for my family, church and friends. Somewhere along the way I have lost myself. I find activities and books that I enjoy, but it seems like a battle to the death to make the time to do them. Paul has been gone most weekends and two days during the week for the last month. I lean on him to get me out of the house and away from my duties at home. With him missing so often I began to shut down. I decided I need to find something I can do by myself without anything or anyone but a babysitter. I thought of working 8-10 hours a week, but I have had no success in finding an employer that will hire someone for 10 hours a week! I also thought of volunteering, yet I dread to take on another responsibility...So last night I told Paul I was going out. I didn't know where...I ended up getting a good book to read and a pedicure. Amazing how an hour of time for myself has refilled by bucket. I know I can't afford to do that regularly, but from time to time it would be worth it. Any suggestions of a way to have some me time or find a venue beyond my home would be great!
Hard to believe it is February already, but winter has dragged on and on. I can see the sun breaking through though. This weekend Paul has planned a trip to an indoor water park. It will feel great to sit in 87 degree room and play in the water all day with my family. Sheryl is coming with us and she adds so much to our time there. She is such a kid at heart, so that seems to balance my serious view on life! Plus Paul and I might get a chance for a little date night in while we are there!
In March we get to go to Nanny's house and enjoy the warmth of the Arizona sun. She hasn't met Abigail yet so that alone would be worth the trip. She has such a way of making people know how special they are. I remember as a child she always made me feel good about myself. Now I love seeing her doing the same thing to my children. What a blessing she is to our family. After that trip, I know I will survive till springtime!!
Well, my family is hungry and I have neglected them long enough. I just want to close with how blessed I am to have four amazing children and a husband I am madly in love with even after 10 years of marriage. I have so much love and support from friends and family. I know the Lord has blessed me with each of these to make me stronger and to soak up the pure joy of life!
1 comment:
Your children will be grown before you know it. It is only for a season that life seems so crazy with all the responsibilities of raising a family. You will make it. When Donald was born I had a family daycare in my home. I had extra kids 50 hours a week in my home and ran it like a daycare. Even when Amanda came along I still had the daycare and had it opened 50 hours a week. I pretty much had 6 children to take care of. Usually 4 in diapers. We had no family close by either. But I made it. You will too! The Lord doesn't give us more than what we can handle. What helped me was to try to go for a walk in the evening by myself or if not just put Donald and Amanda in a stroller and go for a walk. When they were old enough to ride in a bike buggy I would put them in that. Nice memories. Faster mommy! faster mommy!:-)
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